Chapter 1: Introduction
I have loved classical music all my life.
With the exception of the very early composers — before the Baroque period, to which I haven’t been much exposed — and the atonal music that arose from twelve-tone and related modern theories (which never touched me deeply), classical music has enriched my life beyond measure. I can hardly think of anything that could surpass it — except, of course, the loving relationships and friendships I’ve been so fortunate to experience.
Over the years — and I am 83 as I write this — I have listened to countless compositions that are close to my heart, many of which I never tire of hearing again and again.
During this lifelong journey of listening, I have occasionally encountered pieces that touched me very deeply indeed. I never counted them or made a list, but somehow there are some compositions that connect with me at a much deeper level than the others. Interestingly enough they are not similar at all and also not from the same composer.
As someone who spends a lot of time in his head, I can’t resist wondering why these pieces moved me so much. They had no obvious similarities other than touching me very deeply.
Let me be clear: I’m not interested in inventing new theories of music. I did enjoy studying music theory at university — after I retired — but I’ve always thought that “music” and “theory” are almost an oxymoron. As soon as you try to shoehorn music into a theory, you lose something vital in the process.
For the past thirteen years, I’ve been composing classical music for myself. Some of it can be heard in the mobile app I developed, Connect with Your Inner Self Through Music and Meditation, which features only my own compositions. Some of it you can also find in my website at www.rolfsmusic.com.
I still feel as a beginner composing classical music after these 13 years and suspect I will continue to feel so for the rest of my life. Irrespective, some of my pieces resonate more deeply within me than others. It’s not that I dislike any of them — if I did, I’d simply throw them away — but some I feel drawn to hear again and again.
I find it fascinating that also for my own compositions some “rock my boat” more than others. Of course, I never set out for any such composition to make it special in this way. It sort of happened.
The idea for that app took me away from composing for nearly two years (apart from preparing and reworking earlier works for inclusion in the App). Now I’m happy to be back at it. When a friend asked what I planned to compose next, I told him, “Music that blows my mind!” Who wouldn’t want to do that I ask myself?
I can’t predict of course how a new composition will turn out beforehand. It also makes no sense to declare that my next composition will blow my mind. It is just wishful thinking!-:)
If I tried to sit down and deliberately write something that deeply touches me, I wouldn’t know where to begin. All I can do is keep composing and hope that, once in a while, a piece will emerge that truly moves me — a gift I can receive and share with others.
At the same time I want to find ways to stretch myself and learn new things in my compositions. The only way to do this for me is to experiment and then reflect on the outcome.
So I decided to keep a record of this journey — along with any thoughts or discoveries that come to me, and of course including scores, audio files, or videos. I hope that reflecting on what I’ve done will help me learn what to focus on, rather than simply moving on to the next idea. It may also be of interest to others.
Rolf Kessel
Krefeld, October 30, 2025